Changing

Sometimes I think that it’s not for me
That this whole thing is just a dream +
Most of the time it hurts like death and most of the time I do feel dead
Dead to the possibilities that I could only dream up but never experience
What should last eludes me; my world is just a kaleidoscope of change
Nothing stays the same long enough for me to breathe it in
It seems like the universe is running away from me, it doesn’t embrace me like it should
It pushes me aside and tosses out my ideas and leaves me feeling drained and worthless
Where’s the strength that I’m supposed to have
This false resilience that has me held up in mock pride is fading fast
Its sheer will that’s keeping me afloat above my tears
My muscles are weak and my heart is giving out
It’s only a matter of time before it all ends