The fallen's lamentation

I'm like coldness, like hotness
But with no temperature.
I breathe hell, My quench is pure poison.
I smile in the face,
But in the heart i frown.
I'm happy in the world,
But in the world within Me
I grieve with pain, with wrath and agony.
I'm sick in the skull, crashed in the brain.
I'm hurt in the heart, tormented in the soul.
It is just insane.
But it is a heartbreak situation i can't explain.
I'm terribly crash mentally.
I'm terribly crash emotionally.
When i think about Me,
I feel absolutely sad about Me.
I'm upset, angry and stressed up
In standing the hell i breath.
Today, i have no respect, no reputation,
No recognition, no class in the streets.
For years, venom has been my tears
They say "who is down does not fear to fall"
But i never imagine this is how painful it feels when you fall...